After more than a week of not having their bodily autonomy challenged by the automated recordings of Barnaby Joyce, many women say they now lack direction.

Misogyny and total ecological breakdown we can believe in.

Who needs a theory about leftist Luciferian paedophiles engaging in child abuse when you can torture kids in offshore prison camps yourself?

The Chief of Staff who prosecuted Tony Abbott’s “Stop the Boats” campaign is made an Officer of the Order of Australia as a four-year old victim of the nation’s punitive offshore prison camps lies sick in a hospital bed. What could be more Australian than that?

“He went on about something called the “Sharkies” for 30 minutes. C’mon man!!!”. President Biden said.

The snap poll was conducted after news broke that Australia’s third most offensive broadcaster, Peta Credlin, had been awarded Australia’s second highest honour.

First the bushfire crisis, then COVID, now the disturbing journalists’ mirror shortage.

Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the UK and US can’t wait to hear how the Prime Minister of the 20th richest country on Earth redefined “front of the queue” to mean “back of the queue”.

A man who has spent $50 million imprisoning a five year-old girl and her three year-old sister as a means to advance his political career may not be following the gospels to the letter.

Prime Arse-onist, Scott Morrison, hasn’t spent any of the $100-million fund to help regional bushfire recovery but just found more than half a billion dollars to create 10 jobs at a new gas plant and thousands more in emergency services.

Common drum beats include the half-time shuffle, four to the floor and the “look over there” groove.

With only about 260,000 Pentecostal Christians living in Australia, Scott Morrison truly is the PM for the 1%.

6.2 million Australians have “chucked a Porter” after seeing the PM’s latest working class pantomime

“It’s the perfect system!”, one journalist said.

Eight years of non-stop corruption, cronyism, malfeasance, cover-ups and climate crimes by Cormann and his team makes him more than qualified to advise the world’s most powerful governments.

Labor leader Anthony Albanese has warned that child molesters, rapists and murderers may be wandering the halls of Parliament unless laws allowing Liberals in are changed.

The vaccine roll-out to himself is widely seen as overkill, especially since the PM has long been granted immunity by the Canberra Press Gallery.

Appoints Jenny to lead seven independent reviews into why the nation’s most powerful political leader bears no responsibility for the repugnant workplace he oversees.

Treasurer set to ensure the best possible outcome for the rotting corpse of the nation’s third estate.