$12 billion in annual fossil fuel subsidies under threat as a widespread tax boycott denies the industry the funds they need to survive.

Morrison slammed the cigar-puffing Treasurer of the time, whose cavalier treatment of the car industry immediately preceded its death.

“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for Woodside, Adani, and the Australian Petroleum Production and Exploration Association.”

How can you say the PM is divisive when everyone hates him?

The Fourth Estate has yet again risen to the challenge of ecological breakdown by fetishising the leadership ambitions of omnicidal maniacs.

Archaeologists have excavated a pretty damning colour-coded chart.

Affirmative action for the 1%.

Not a lifetime ban?

Billionaire totem Pete Buttigieg has shocked the world with a supernaturally stunning second place in the New Hampshire primary, while Amy Klobuchar is the big story of the night with a sublime 3rd place.

What we say we do or don’t believe is purely a question of economics.

Just like in Iowa, it seems silly to wait for the results when you can just pretend to win.

All passengers are infected with greed and all cases are terminal.

Global institutions leap into action to prevent capitalist contagion.

“Pretending to take climate action was so January 2020. Now it’s raining, let me tell you about how the climate is always changing.”

A Melbourne parent trying valiantly to be both honest and reassuring about the climate crisis to his 4-year-old daughter is still tinkering with his approach after his optimistic message about Adam Bandt and Bernie Sanders failed to soften the blow of defining omnicide.

It’s the highest honour bestowed upon a member of the Liberal Party for individuals with especially meritorious contributions to an endemic culture of committing cavalier corruption with impunity.

The monstrous new Greens leader is already terrorising Australians with fundamentalist fantasises of not being murdered by fossil fuel companies.

“If I knew climate change was a threat back when I was PM way back in August 2018, I would have done something.”

What those with deep wounds from the bushfires really need is salt.

A man who is still yet to wipe the bird poo from his brow will spend the day sensitively focusing on his own leadership ambitions.