Surge in sales for Lee Kernaghan’s 2015 classic “Spirit of the Anzac” as fights break out between strangers due to the abject failures of the ruling class.

If only he wasn’t so lazy.

Remember to thank a billionaire casino owner today.

All hands on deck as the coronavirus crisis forces the mining magnate, who worked hard to inherit a $75 million mining company and Rio Tinto royalties worth $12 million a year, into a real job.

Finally, a meritocracy.

The distinction between essential and bullshit jobs has never been clearer.

Morrison is losing his mind now the quiet Australians won’t be able to immunise themselves by watching the Sheffield Shield final.

Morrison is tired of Swan making him look more useless than a muddy dishcloth.

Turns out a man with more than a decade’s experience shilling for fossil fuels can sell death like no-one else, but can’t promote life to save himself.

When the life of the Government is at stake, the swiftness of their marketing makes the speed of light seem pedestrian. When it’s the lives of its citizens, not so much.

Meaningless drivel you can depend on.

Mr Morrison said it is “not credible” to link coronavirus to its symptoms.

The best way to stop millions becoming infected is to wait until thousands are infected.

Unlike toilet paper, you’ll need to stockpile those violins.

Peter Dutton is weak on border security.

Hospitals at breaking point with 48.5% of Australians in a critical condition.

Fidel Castro’s bastard son, Scott Morrison, has blown the federal budget with wasteful spending on poor people.

Morrison lamely defended himself by claiming the cost of action is less than the cost of inaction.

The Nationals MP has urged Morrison to do nothing about the crisis, or, more accurately, to work to increase the number of victims.

He sure is electable. For what remains unclear.